Monkey and Millie visit Barter Books

Hello monkey fans

Monkey here…….

We have been up to soo much monkey business this week. Ooh I cant begin to tell  you. Well remember my tweet about causing monkey business in a book shop!? The very lucky shop in question was in Alnwick in Northumberland which Millie has trouble pronouncing but she just calls in Barterland. I reckon that sounds much better!


Here we are at Barter Books. Everything is calm, the monkeys haven't been inside yet! teehee

Here we are at Barter Books. Everything is calm, the monkeys haven’t been inside yet! teehee

Here we are. I wanted to look bookish and intelligent so I wore my bow tie. I wore my lovely pretty dress. I wasn’t allowed to wear a coat as people tell me it’s not allowed up here in the North. But luckily it wasnt too chilly in Barterland and our fur was enough to keep us warm for five minutes before we had to leg it inside and look for the fire and warm cocoa:

Yummy yummy cookies sprinkled with monkey nuts

Yummy yummy cookies sprinkled with monkey nuts?

Then we scampered amongst the aisles and played hide and seek on the bookcases in between the books and under the chairs. You win points if you could sneak up beside a real human and blow amonkey kiss as this scares them. They’ve never seen a monkey like me! Aaaaaye.

My favourite game is to sneak up a book shelf, and then wait until someone with a hood walks by and then jump down and snuggle in the hood. This I find is free transportation for the remainder of the visit. Unless they spot you – I really should try not to poop when I’m in someone’s hood. I also like to sing rap songs like those men with baggy trousers do on the telly. They sing about being in the hood too – that’s where I got the idea from and I want to thank these men such as MR 5ocents (A bit cheap my Millie says – why not be £1). I reckon in return for this mention, they should rap about poop. aah well a monkey can dream…

BAck to Barterland….and it was a cosy warm day in Barterland. Barterland is a mysterious place full of dark corridors of trees covered in books – all of their branches are covered in books just like in the deep dark wood like in that Gruffalo book. I was getting so into the moment of my woodland journey that I turned the corner and screamed as I’d come face to face with the Gruffalo himself!!!!!!

AAArgh!! Aah Phew it was only Granny Growbag. My mistake


Anyway, Shaking with fear, I continued my journey in Barterland and saw lots of old people sitting on comfy seats reading, lots of young people too. Granny Growbag stayed in the waiting room with endless cups of tea, biscuits and books of course. She only looks at the pictures but she did pick up a book on old people and old people’s habits. ‘Mending things in the home’ or something it was called. lots of pictures and about old things. Bless. She said she was very happy as the cafe was right next door to the loo. Old people like that apparently.


Well My Millie made friends with a lovely family and their three kiddiwinks. She read a bit of Harry Potter in the childrens room and followed one of them round the maze of book cases. Sometimes he would help her up to one of the higher shelves so she could see better. Bless. It’s like a maze in there for us monkeys with little legs!

Millie then said she was going to look for a book about monkey life:

Looking for inspiration Millie?

Looking for inspiration Millie?


She couldn’t find one about monkeys and their monkey relationships – cant think why she might want advice on a Monkey relationship…..but I got worried when she came across this one and started reading it….

Relationship advice for Monkeys?

Relationship advice for Monkeys?

Who would have thought that Goats  could write books about getting married? What a clever idea!! I might write a book about Millie. Females are very hard to keep track of – in bookshops and in clothes shops and in general actually so it might make me some monkey money. She bought the book but wont tell me what advice was in it…..if I ever meet that goat!?? me and him are going to have to have words.


More bookish adventures next time monkey fans……..



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